I never in a million years thought I'd be the one to talk about miscarriages. To me, it was something I hear so many people go through and I never really understood what it felt like to lose a baby until I went through it myself. You hear so many women, even men speaking about the reality when it comes to any form of baby loss and it honestly makes me so proud of each and everyone; why should we feel like we gave to hide away and never speak of it? To us it changed our lives, we need to speak about it more.
I lost my baby in May this year, and it was honestly such a horrible thing to experience. I never in a million years imagined a miscarriage to be so painful, so traumatic and simply so heartbreaking. I can only describe pregnancy loss as being given an opportunity to do something that you've been dreaming of from such a little girl, and someone snatching it from you in the blink of an eye. I was never prepared for the heartbreak and ongoing trauma its caused me, and like I say to everyone who likes to compare miscarriages, everyone heals differently.
Miscarriages are a lot more common than people think, and one in four women go through this in every pregnancy. While it causes so much pain every time, it gives me comfort in knowing that I'm not alone and that there are people out there who understand how I'm feeling, and I've honestly met the most amazing women recently who like me, have lost their baby and we've gained friendships from it. To me, that's what its all about, you may feel like you have lost everything, but there is always someone out there who gets it and makes it seem so much better.
While I'm getting closer to the time I should've been due with our bumble bee, I now understand that it was never meant to be right now and im a huge believer that everything happens for a reason. One of the biggest pills I had to swallow was that it doesn’t have to be the end. There are so many charities out there, one being the miscarriage association.
On the 15th of October, my best friend and I will be lighting candles and lanterns in memory of our precious babies. Although sometimes we may feel alone, there’s always someone out there who understands.
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